Soon in Oregon??

Today was awesome possum.

Kody did extremely well on his test today. I couldn't be prouder of my hubby!

I had my over the phone interview with OSU and it went amazing! From the way she talked I think I may just have an internship site!! AHHH!!

I hope I have it. The facility there is awesome! And I could be with Kody! Why would I want that?

I need to jump on the ball and hit the books. The first mini CPE is next Tuesday and I need to be ready. I've been gathering things to look over whenever I have free moments.

I have two more interviews over the next two days. Wish me luck. I'm hopeful that soon I'll be with my Hubby in Oregon...

My Now Imperfect Driving Record

So, let me just say it hasn't been the greatest of weeks. But I have had worse.

I did remarkably well on all my tests this week. Three A's. Very Thankful for all that.

I scheduled 3 internship interviews (one of which is at OSU-over the phone-and I REALLY want it). And got to talk to Kody at least twice everyday.

Although, I have been having friend/acquaintance issues. But that isn't the worst of it this week.

I'd like to think this is karma. I've not been overly nice lately and I think this was the price I paid.

I've always prided myself on the fact that although I'm not an excellent driver I have never gotten a ticket. Well that ended today. I got pulled over for speeding and reckless driving. Thankfully once the officer saw this is a first time he only cited me for following too close. And I made sure I did not cry in front of him. I don't want to be one of those girls. So $113 and 4 point later, my driving record is no longer perfect. Ugh... I'm highly disappointed in myself.

I'm going to take this as a lesson learned. Do not go any more than 5 mph over the speed limit (helpful tip from the officer) and do not ever tail gate people. It could be ugly people. Very ugly...

Here's the Breaking Point

Sometimes, you reach a breaking point.

Well, I'm there.

Can anyone tell me why I am always so hated? I try really hard to make my friends feel loved and appreciated and try to help them out. But somehow it always gets thrown back in my face and I am called horrible things.

I'm tired of it. I try to be so nice to others and do unto them as I would have done to me.

Now I'm not saying that I haven't done or said awful things to people in the past. I have. And I have tried my best to make up for those things and apologize to those people. But to no avail. And that is my fault. I could've thought things through and not done and said those things.

But the gossip and judgement I find myself amongst is making me insane. I am tired to the way everyone looks being the hot topic. I mean I do try to look my best. I'm no gorgeous model or anything. But why does it matter that much. And why is it so important that we put people down to make ourselves feel better.

I try to get the best grades I can. When I don't I admit I get disappointed. But I am not overjoyed when I get a better grade then someone else. Whether or not that person and I get along. I'm sorry for those who have trouble and don't pass. It sucks. I kick myself anytime I don't do what I know I am capable of. I'm sure those people do too.

In short, I just want the craziness to stop. Lets try loving each other. Lets try not caring how well everyone did with school and just worry about you and how you did. I don't throw it in people's faces when I do super great. For they may not have done as great.

I'm just done. I can't handle any more negativity. I need to think more positively and the negative people keep bringing me down.

Here's To Lost Friendships

Today was a great day. I went to a birthday party for one of my favorite uncles. Had a blast and even studied a little.

Being busy keeps my mind occupied and not so sad and lonely.

But then...

I saw something that made me long for a friendship that is long since gone and I know has no hope of being reconciled. I still have to deal with my lost but not forgotten friend, as she is a part of the family. I just feel as though everything is fake, a show if you will. It is all an act to present herself as the model sister, girlfriend, daughter, friend, etc.

But I've seen the darkness in her and still find myself pining for her friendship. At one time I felt as though she was the sister I've never had. And she has never had a sister either... I guess that is what I really long for. A sister.

I have tried so many things to erase her from my life and memories. But the past pops up more than you'd like.

Thankfully Kody is so understanding. What can I do to support him as much as he does me. He is so much better at handling things as they come than I am.

I hope that in the future this forgotten (on her part) friendship will be once again. I still care about her despite our differences and all the hurt we've caused each other. I just wish that feeling was mutual. Someday... Someday... I keep telling myself that. Someday, as long as I continue to be the bigger person. Here's hoping.

Tireless Complaining and Inappropriate Jokes

I've found myself lying up more lately worrying. Hoping.

I'm praying I get to move to Oregon in 3 months. These 6 months without Kody have been incredibly hard.

I'm in my last quarter before internship. Every day I hope to see an email saying that Oregon State University accepted me as an intern. Also I hope I can pass classes... That would help. Speaking of, I should be studying anesthesia right now. Oops.

Don't get me wrong, Kody and I are stronger than ever. Despite my tireless complaining lately. He has been unbelievably supportive of my rants and raves and my inappropriate jokes. I just hope I am as supportive to him. After all he is in Medical School. I'm only in Vet Tech school.

Well, bed is seeming inviting. And puppies need to be tucked in.

Night.