Kody is 25% a Doctor!

This is a questionnaire I filled out about my experiences in Kody's first year of medical school... Hope you all like it!

Give me a little background of your family, your education/work, and where you came from before coming to Lebanon.
I am from Colorado Springs, Colorado. I met Kody when I was 17 years old and had graduated early from high school. We both went to a Country Music Bar with our siblings twice a week to dance, he continued to ask me out and finally I agreed. I went to University of Colorado at Colorado Springs for three years for a Math/Teaching Degree and then realized it was not for me and then shortly after that decided to go to school to become a Veterinary Technician. Kody also went to University of Colorado at Colorado Springs and got two bachelors degrees there. Then he got accepted at Western U and I wasn't finished with Tech school. So I stayed behind to finish school while Kody moved out here to Oregon. I have just finished up my tech school and am graduating next week and officially moved here in March! Finally to be back together after 9 months!

What are your responsibilities while your husband is at school? (a day in the life of you)
Well, for a while it was miss him a lot and do my school work/take care of my dogs and help with my brother's children. But up until today my responsibilities included caring for the animals in the morning and evenings, try to keep up on dishes/keep the house clean and complete my internship hours Monday-Friday for 8 hours a day. Kody and I fit in cuddle time at night between our stressing and studying.

What resources did you find in the community that are supportive to you and your family?
Unfortunately, I haven't been around for a while. I have found some support within the complements club. Kody and I have been looking for a church to join. My main support has really been Kody during my time here.

What did you find was the best way to support your husband while he was studying this first year?
Let him know that although I am stressed about things that he doesn't need to take care of me. Sometimes Kody needs a push to study when he wants to just be with me. But we sort of have a system. I go to bed early and he stays up an extra hour to get in some quality studying without wanting to cater to me.

Did school become stressful on your relationship at any time? How did it effect the relationships he has with other family members and friends?
For us it wasn't school being stressful but getting reacquainted with each other. Kody made a lot of big changes in his lifestyle when he moved here to get healthier- it has been a big change for me and I have had a rough time adjusting.
School I think has negatively impacted his family relationships. They just don't seem to understand how much this consumes of his life and they aren't as willing to work around it.

What solutions have you found for dealing with the stress or burn out for either you or your SO?
We try to stay connected with each other. That has been the biggest help. We both just need to remind each other that we are in this together no matter what. We make sure to help each other. Sometimes I help him study and sometimes he helps me with house work when I get overwhelmed.

Do you feel connected with other med school wives, and have you found good friends?
I feel connected with a few of the other med school wives. I am not one to open up readily and that impacts my relationships. I have made several friends in my internship as well. But I suppose it depends on what areas you are involved with as to who you might meet to be apart of your support system.

Any advice you would give to new medical student wives?
No matter if you are moving with your husband or you have to be apart for a bit- stay connected and find what works for the two of you as a couple. We can tell how things worked for us, but every couple is different.

Hoping for Normal

Well, life here is complicated...

I have the greatest husband a girl could ever hope for. He is amazingly supportive and continues to love me through all the hard times.

For 9 months (July 2011-March 2012), all I wanted was to move away from Colorado and all the people there that hurt me. What I didn't realize is I would also be moving away from everyone I have known my entire life- the good and the bad.

Let's just say it has been a rough adjustment.

It was somewhat of a culture shock for me moving to Oregon. Just in the way that I had to adjust to the huge changes Kody made in his lifestyle in my absence. For instance, I have gone from drinking two sodas a day to one a week. I have also gone from little exercise to running once a week (although I think it has been two weeks since I've run- graduation coming up and all) and walking a mile a day from my car and back to it. Kody has also become mostly vegetarian which I still am having a hard time adjusting to. I have a hard time finding meals I will like that are healthy and vegetarian... Hopefully in the next couple months I will be more used to it.

I love being with Kody and moving here has made me rely more on him.

I don't easily make friends and I don't easily trust due to past friendships going awry. So being cut off from "civilization" has been rough. I have made two friends. One is another one of the Med Student's Fiance. The other is a technician at my internship site. I don't see them often but Kody has also made a point of taking me out with him to do things. We have seen several movies with another couple and gone to a couple parties (I am not truly fond of the parties).

Overall, I have been grouchy and emotional. It is roller coaster here... I feel terrible for my amazing husband. He has been a trouper through this whole thing. I am surprised that this hasn't broken our relationship. We are deeply attached to one another and that has shown through this interesting time in our long life together.

I don't know how I got so lucky. And I hope that I can level out all my crazyness lately. Kody deserves some normal for a while.

Underlying Issues

Recently a couple, one of them a peer of Kody's at the medical school, got a divorce.

No one even seemed to know that it was happening. I asked Kody if he'd seen them together and if they seemed happy. He said he had seen them together and they did seem happy. But he knew his peer wasn't. This person told him so.

It just made me wonder. Do people seem happy but really have real issues they can't resolve? To be honest this whole situation scared me.

Kody and I are happy. We have issues... Who doesn't. But we work through them. I think that is was matters. That you work at it. No matter what else you could be doing instead, you make the time to work at your relationship.

I hope that Kody and I never go through anything we can't resolve. We've been through so much already, I can't imagine something we couldn't get through. But maybe I'm too young and naive. I'd like to think I'm not.

I love Kody with all my heart. I can't imagine going through moving to Oregon and finally being away from my family without him. I've been an emotional mess.

Well, the point is I get scared and things like this make me more scared but, I always seem to find myself in Kody's arms when I get too scared. I hope that doesn't change.

Getting Distance

Hello,

I officially passed the CPE (aka my GIANT test). Not to brag but I passed with a 91%!!! Whoooo!

I was supposed to be headed to Oregon today but we hit some road blocks...

My car needs a tow hitch so we can tow a uhaul trailer. Unfortunately it is a specialty part for the type of car I have and uhaul can't get it until Tuesday. So..... I will be leaving early Wednesday instead.

Thankfully, this has given me more time to do things I need to do before heading out. And seeing great friends before I leave for a LONG time. It has actually been really good.

Poor Kody will have to be a little distant when I first get there (about Thursday I should get there). Because he has a test that Friday. So my parents and I will hang out together, go to the beach...in the rain... or hiking... in the rain... Who knows! My parents will then fly out on Saturday!

I'm getting anxious to be on my own for the FIRST TIME EVER!!! It's a little crazy that I'll be halfway across the country but I'm sure I'll figure out everything!

I'm excited to start a new adventure!

GIANT test

This is it people... I am coming down the home stretch.

One GIANT test tomorrow and IF I pass then I will be headed to Oregon Sunday!!

I'm freaking out a little about passing. This is the biggest test I've ever had to take and I am super worried I won't make it. I just want to be in Oregon and be one step closer to becoming a real Vet Tech!

I'm just praying I will make it. I'm not sure I've studied enough. And I am doing this instead... way to be smart!

Oregon Bound

Well, I finally have a bit of time.

I'm freaking out a bit...

On Monday I was the Happiest I've been in a long time. Because I got a call from OSU saying that they want me to intern at their hospital!! I said... YES obviously... LOL. This happiness lasted me a good portion through the week. But... This means in 3 weeks I'll be on my way to Oregon. As long as I pass my classes and CPE.

That brings me to the freaking out. I have done really well in everything so far but I'm worried that because I am starting to pack and make definite plans that something will go wrong. Like me not passing classes or the CPE for that matter. Any way... I have been slacking this weekend and need to get rolling on studying for all my tests and CPE's. Only a Few short weeks left... Hopefully I'll pull through.

I can't wait to be with Kody again... It has been too long..

Where I am Meant To Be

I'm ready to give up on having any friends other than Kody. I cannot wait to be in Oregon.

Why is it that I drop everything to help out my friends and then end up getting shafted in the end?

I'm sorry but to me when someone helps you get out of an abusive and controlling relationship you don't run back to that controlling person. I feel highly insulted. Why should I have even gone through the trouble of helping if it was all going to happen again.

I love helping my friends out if they need helping but why can't anyone seem to be there when I need it? (Except my Mom and Kody of course).

Soon I will be where I am meant to be... I cannot wait for that.

Soon in Oregon??

Today was awesome possum.

Kody did extremely well on his test today. I couldn't be prouder of my hubby!

I had my over the phone interview with OSU and it went amazing! From the way she talked I think I may just have an internship site!! AHHH!!

I hope I have it. The facility there is awesome! And I could be with Kody! Why would I want that?

I need to jump on the ball and hit the books. The first mini CPE is next Tuesday and I need to be ready. I've been gathering things to look over whenever I have free moments.

I have two more interviews over the next two days. Wish me luck. I'm hopeful that soon I'll be with my Hubby in Oregon...

My Now Imperfect Driving Record

So, let me just say it hasn't been the greatest of weeks. But I have had worse.

I did remarkably well on all my tests this week. Three A's. Very Thankful for all that.

I scheduled 3 internship interviews (one of which is at OSU-over the phone-and I REALLY want it). And got to talk to Kody at least twice everyday.

Although, I have been having friend/acquaintance issues. But that isn't the worst of it this week.

I'd like to think this is karma. I've not been overly nice lately and I think this was the price I paid.

I've always prided myself on the fact that although I'm not an excellent driver I have never gotten a ticket. Well that ended today. I got pulled over for speeding and reckless driving. Thankfully once the officer saw this is a first time he only cited me for following too close. And I made sure I did not cry in front of him. I don't want to be one of those girls. So $113 and 4 point later, my driving record is no longer perfect. Ugh... I'm highly disappointed in myself.

I'm going to take this as a lesson learned. Do not go any more than 5 mph over the speed limit (helpful tip from the officer) and do not ever tail gate people. It could be ugly people. Very ugly...

Here's the Breaking Point

Sometimes, you reach a breaking point.

Well, I'm there.

Can anyone tell me why I am always so hated? I try really hard to make my friends feel loved and appreciated and try to help them out. But somehow it always gets thrown back in my face and I am called horrible things.

I'm tired of it. I try to be so nice to others and do unto them as I would have done to me.

Now I'm not saying that I haven't done or said awful things to people in the past. I have. And I have tried my best to make up for those things and apologize to those people. But to no avail. And that is my fault. I could've thought things through and not done and said those things.

But the gossip and judgement I find myself amongst is making me insane. I am tired to the way everyone looks being the hot topic. I mean I do try to look my best. I'm no gorgeous model or anything. But why does it matter that much. And why is it so important that we put people down to make ourselves feel better.

I try to get the best grades I can. When I don't I admit I get disappointed. But I am not overjoyed when I get a better grade then someone else. Whether or not that person and I get along. I'm sorry for those who have trouble and don't pass. It sucks. I kick myself anytime I don't do what I know I am capable of. I'm sure those people do too.

In short, I just want the craziness to stop. Lets try loving each other. Lets try not caring how well everyone did with school and just worry about you and how you did. I don't throw it in people's faces when I do super great. For they may not have done as great.

I'm just done. I can't handle any more negativity. I need to think more positively and the negative people keep bringing me down.

Here's To Lost Friendships

Today was a great day. I went to a birthday party for one of my favorite uncles. Had a blast and even studied a little.

Being busy keeps my mind occupied and not so sad and lonely.

But then...

I saw something that made me long for a friendship that is long since gone and I know has no hope of being reconciled. I still have to deal with my lost but not forgotten friend, as she is a part of the family. I just feel as though everything is fake, a show if you will. It is all an act to present herself as the model sister, girlfriend, daughter, friend, etc.

But I've seen the darkness in her and still find myself pining for her friendship. At one time I felt as though she was the sister I've never had. And she has never had a sister either... I guess that is what I really long for. A sister.

I have tried so many things to erase her from my life and memories. But the past pops up more than you'd like.

Thankfully Kody is so understanding. What can I do to support him as much as he does me. He is so much better at handling things as they come than I am.

I hope that in the future this forgotten (on her part) friendship will be once again. I still care about her despite our differences and all the hurt we've caused each other. I just wish that feeling was mutual. Someday... Someday... I keep telling myself that. Someday, as long as I continue to be the bigger person. Here's hoping.

Tireless Complaining and Inappropriate Jokes

I've found myself lying up more lately worrying. Hoping.

I'm praying I get to move to Oregon in 3 months. These 6 months without Kody have been incredibly hard.

I'm in my last quarter before internship. Every day I hope to see an email saying that Oregon State University accepted me as an intern. Also I hope I can pass classes... That would help. Speaking of, I should be studying anesthesia right now. Oops.

Don't get me wrong, Kody and I are stronger than ever. Despite my tireless complaining lately. He has been unbelievably supportive of my rants and raves and my inappropriate jokes. I just hope I am as supportive to him. After all he is in Medical School. I'm only in Vet Tech school.

Well, bed is seeming inviting. And puppies need to be tucked in.

Night.