Here's To Lost Friendships

Today was a great day. I went to a birthday party for one of my favorite uncles. Had a blast and even studied a little.

Being busy keeps my mind occupied and not so sad and lonely.

But then...

I saw something that made me long for a friendship that is long since gone and I know has no hope of being reconciled. I still have to deal with my lost but not forgotten friend, as she is a part of the family. I just feel as though everything is fake, a show if you will. It is all an act to present herself as the model sister, girlfriend, daughter, friend, etc.

But I've seen the darkness in her and still find myself pining for her friendship. At one time I felt as though she was the sister I've never had. And she has never had a sister either... I guess that is what I really long for. A sister.

I have tried so many things to erase her from my life and memories. But the past pops up more than you'd like.

Thankfully Kody is so understanding. What can I do to support him as much as he does me. He is so much better at handling things as they come than I am.

I hope that in the future this forgotten (on her part) friendship will be once again. I still care about her despite our differences and all the hurt we've caused each other. I just wish that feeling was mutual. Someday... Someday... I keep telling myself that. Someday, as long as I continue to be the bigger person. Here's hoping.